Yesterday I awoke to find my dog
It lay there stiff an' smellin'
in an ooze at the foot of the bed
And my cat has got itself poisoned
by the stuff I left for the mice
An' my favorite pet tortoise
has got rigamortis
And the room is infested with lice
An' my garden's a victim of flooding
the vegetable bed's washed away
An' the plumbing has also stopped working
all clogged up by the topsoil and clay
So I take a look in my broken mirror
What has brought on this horrible curse?
An' my friends pat my back and say,
"Cheer up! Things could really be worse!"
So I took a cue from their wisdom
In misfortune one should not immerse
I put a smile on my face and cheered up
And sure enough - just like that - things got worse!