Yesterday I awoke to find my dog was dead
It lay there stiff an' smellin'
in an ooze at the foot of the bed
And my cat has got itself poisoned
by the stuff I left for the mice
An' my favorite pet tortoise
has got rigamortis
And the room is infested with lice

An' my garden's a victim of flooding
the vegetable bed's washed away
An' the plumbing has also stopped working
all clogged up by the topsoil and clay

So I take a look in my broken mirror
What has brought on this horrible curse?
An' my friends pat my back and say,
"Cheer up! Things could really be worse!"

So I took a cue from their wisdom
In misfortune one should not immerse
I put a smile on my face and cheered up
And sure enough - just like that - things got worse!